


And It All Goes Up In Flames

by Teenageoblivion



Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Love/Hate, Memories, Sad, Unrequited Love, angry, don't hate me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 00:53:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8035930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teenageoblivion/pseuds/Teenageoblivion
Summary: Steve Rogers comes into your life being exactly what everyone expected him to be. You fell for it. He leaves your life being exactly what you wish you'd never fallen for. You're left to cry at your own stupidity.





	1. Shame On Me, You Fooled Me Twice

**Author's Note:**

> Well, well, well.   
> Here I am with another product of procrastination - I really don't like high school.  
> TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK SO FAR!

Steve Rogers was, or rather is, considered the pinnacle of all things good.

Everyone knew that he'd do what was right; right in the sense that he'd commit himself to what he believed in.

The world needed saving so he saved it, Bucky was a good man who had been used against his will so he fought for his friend, Loki had done wrong so he fought against the god. He had saved many and he had done much, but his biggest failure - his biggest regret was you. 

In your face, he had been the coward. He had taken the easy way out.

He had been everything Captain America was supposed to be; it had cost you in the process.

His hello had been as poisonous as his goodbye and the worst part is he's not even sorry. Not truly. Not the way you deserve.

Because in the end, his plan had worked out just the same and so you had served a cause.

He didn't need to feel pity for you, you were just caught in the crossfire. Casualties occurred all the time; there is no use in getting emotionally involved.

Emotions cloud judgement.   
Emotions cause problems.

But then again he supposed, he had forgotten what he truly stood for and his sadness for you was just another sign of it. Of weakness.

He had gone astray all these years, changed his loyalties, changed who he was.

And perhaps, in exchange, he had learnt that the line between right and wrong was more blurred than before. He had done what was expected of him, and yet he had also learnt what it felt like to want more than just the accomplishment of his duty, the justice, the freedom. He had learnt what it was to truly want and crave, selfishly.

And you had played a part in that, albeit unknowingly.

* * *

 

You pitied the way you had been when you met him; the girl too starstruck who would have done anything Steve Rogers had asked. You hated the way you'd been when he left you; the girl too starstruck to see that the problem had been him all along.

It had taken a long time for you to know the truth and it had made you _angry_.   
Actually you had hurt and cried and wished for things you didn't think you wanted and things that made you ashamed.

The way Steve betrayed you, it changed a lot.

To be fair it hadn't all his fault, it was also a matter of luck.

But the worst part of it was that it had been **him**. You would have gotten over it if it was just some guy, but it had been Steve Rogers, the epitome of all things good, all things noble and everything you loved, who did this.

* * *

 

You had tried to play it cool, at first.

It hadn't mattered, he'd seen through it. He had learnt a lot over the years he'd been awakened.

You'd thought what everyone else did; that he would be shy and sweet and gentlemanly; a man uncomfortable out of his time. But that hadn't been true at all, no he'd just played you. 

Not that you knew that then.

Or the months after.

 _He'd_ known from the moment he met you that you'd be wrapped around his finger.

_"Good morning, I'm Steve."_

_"I hate to tell you this, Captain Rogers, but there isn't a person in town who doesn't know that. What can I do for you?"_

_"You could join me for a cup of coffee?"_   
_You had been surprised, not expecting such a proposal, not expecting anything at all. He didn't know you, he hadn't even seen you before this._

_But you'd let his known past and what you'd heard of him cloud what was happening in front of you._

_"Wow, um, sure - I mean I'd love to," You stumbled over your words as he stumbled into your heart with neat, cursive handwriting stating a number and his name._

_"I did also want something else." He had smiled warmly at you, a teasing glint in his eyes that caused warmth to flood to your cheeks._

_He leant in close, the proximity causing you to stiffen as well as lean in, wondering what he had to say._

_"Your name?" You giggled nervously, realizing your mishap, and stammered out your name._

It had been so cliché, something straight out of a romance novel; that should have been your second clue.  
But you had let yourself be fooled, you had let yourself believe that life was just being nice to you to make up for all the shit it had thrown your way recently.

In hindsight, you should've expected the twist.

(Luck had never been very kind to you.)

 


	2. Your Mouth Is Poison, Your Mouth Is Wine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought about this chapter and what you think is going to happen!  
> Just in case it wasn't obvious - italics is a past event/memory.

He was always so public.   
The cute little coffee shop that had too many people in it, the restaurant with transparent walls, the house known to be Steve Rogers' residence.

It had only been two weeks.

Two weeks since you started dating.

Two days since the media wouldn't stop hounding you.

Two minutes since your current breakdown had started.

You had found it was easy to let their hateful words morph into a skewed perception of reality.   
They attacked everything; from acne that littered your skin to how Steve was so incredibly, obviously and irrevocably out of your league.

He was too good for you.

He was the golden boy and you were just the shadow that followed him around.

(Maybe they would hurt less if you hadn't pondered about them alone.)

_When the comfort of home turns into a trap, you find yourself heading towards the park._

_The suffocation ends but the words still linger in your head._

_"Doll?" His voice startles you and you rush to make yourself look presentable; as if nothing was wrong, as if the smile on your face is real._

_It never works._

_He knows, he always knows._

_"Are you going to tell me why you're crying?" And you want to, you might have but you fear what he'll think and you fear saying it out loud but most of all, you're disappointed in yourself, feeling like you're letting Steve down._

_He doesn't break fighting for his life and here you were, torn up just because of some words._

_"Hey, look at me. We don't have to talk about it, okay? If you do, that's okay too. Whatever you need, I'm here. Whatever makes you comfortable, we'll do it."_

_"How can you be so understanding? I'm so very lucky."_   
_You don't add that the words feed into the insecurities. Here you have a perfect man and here you have his damaged girl. You don't add how you can't explain the problem to him because it stems **from** him. But most importantly, you don't add how you're terrified if he knows everything in your head; not just today but every other, not just this moment but sometimes when you look in the mirror, not just alone but in the middle of a crowd or a party or a dinner, he might just leave you._

_You're a mess and he's perfect and you're not sure how he can wrap his velvet heart around your jagged edges but he's warm and soft and so, so safe so you just allow yourself to be comforted in his arms as he pulls you into them._

_But as usual, **as usual** , he already knows._

_"You're beautiful, okay? I know what they say and I know what it feels like to feel like you aren't enough or that the world is ready to kick you down without even giving you a chance. I wasn't always like this, remember? But I need you to not give up on me. I know it's hard to be close to me not just because of this but also the danger it brings and believe me, I'll get it if you decide to leave but I'm hoping you'll stay anyway. I'm being selfish and I'm asking you to stay."_

_No sooner are the words out of his mouth that his lips crash against yours and you're not sure who made the first step but you're glad._

_In that moment, nothing else mattered._  
 _In that moment, everything else faded away._  
 _In that moment, you gave a piece of your heart to Steve Rogers._   
_In that moment,_ he fed you with another lie.

You don't think you regret falling for this one.

He may have had a poisonous touch but his kisses were intoxicating and the words a drug you craved to taste.

(Sometimes you think that even if he met you now and did the same again, you'd fall right back in.)


End file.
